10: What Should One Wish Or Pray For?

     The subjects of praying and wishing come up often in Seneca's letters to his friend Lucilius. For example, in the tenth letter, Seneca advises Lucilius that, if he is going to pray to the gods, he should ask them for excellence of mind and mental well being before asking for physical health. And in Letter 32, there is the following extraordinary passage:
          "There were other things your parents wished for you to have; what I wish for you is to have contempt for all their bountiful wishes. In their prayers, many are robbed to make you rich: whatever they transfer to you, they must take from someone else. My wish is this: may you be your own master; may your mind, which is now driven this way and that by its concerns, come at last to a halt, sure and content in itself; may you come to understand those true goods that belong to you in the moment you understand them, and feel no need of additional years. In order to rise above necessities, to gain one's discharge, to be free, one must live a life that is already complete."
     The initial purpose of this blog was to explore the concept of moderation. So my readers will perhaps not find it surprising that I consider myself to be an agnostic, one who has not taken a final position on the issue of whether God exists or does not exist (arguably, both extreme positions). Seneca was most certainly not an agnostic, a topic I intend to explore in another post. And -- contrary to Seneca's advice -- when I have prayed, it has usually been for the physical health of those close to me: my wife, during her two battles with cancer; my mother, when her appendix burst and she had to have emergency surgery; and my aunt, during her two battles with cancer (the second of which has just started). I do not think that such prayers are inconsistent with moderation. But perhaps I am guilty of the charge often leveled against moderates -- that we like to have our cake and eat it, too.
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     Seneca, Letters on Ethics to Lucilius, Translated with an Introduction and Commentary by Margaret Graver and A.A. Long (University of Chicago Press, Chicago and London, 2015), Letter 10, 4, page 45; see also Letter 32, 4-5, page 109. 

9: An Artist At Friend-Making

     In the ninth letter to his friend Lucilius, Seneca discusses one of the disputes between the Stoic school of philosophy (he considers himself to be a Stoic) and their rivals the Epicureans on the issue of whether or not the wise person is self-sufficient. Seneca writes:
          "Our position [that of the Stoics] is different from theirs [the Epicureans] in that our wise person conquers all adversities, but still feels them; theirs does not even feel them. That the sage is self-sufficient is a point held in common between us; yet even though he is content with himself, he still wishes to have a friend, a neighbor, a companion. ... He is self-sufficient, not in that that he wants to be without a friend, but in that he is able to -- by which I mean that he bears the loss with equanimity. But in truth he will never be without a friend, for it rests with him how quickly he gets a replacement. Just as Phidias [a famous sculptor in ancient Athens], if he should lose one of his statues, would immediately make another, so this artist at friend-making will substitute another in place of the one who is lost."
     My late friend Brian Lingle was an artist at friend-making. Brian died suddenly around this time three years ago. At his funeral, our mutual friend John gave a moving (and humorous) eulogy, in which he remarked that many of Brian's friends considered him to be their best friend. In my own case, I went through a major depressive episode around the turn of the millennium, which included one week in the hospital and one month off from work. For a year after that -- and perhaps longer -- Brian would drive to my house every Saturday or Sunday morning (regardless of the Chicago weather) in his barely-functioning old car, so that we could go for a run together along the shores of Lake Michigan. His concern for me, which he showed in actions more than in words, was a major factor in my recovery.
     In my reading of Seneca, despite the passage of two thousand years between us, I find myself in agreement with much of what he had to say. But on at least one point I disagree with him: although I have other friends, and hope to make more, I will never find a substitute for Brian.
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     Seneca, Letters on Ethics to Lucilius, Translated with an Introduction and Commentary by Margaret Graver and A.A. Long (University of Chicago Press, Chicago and London, 2015), Letter 9, 3-5, page 40. 

   
     

8: Discovering The Right Path Late In Life

     There are not often explicit transitions between Seneca's letters, but his eighth letter to Lucilius does have such a transition. In the seventh letter, Seneca advised his friend to avoid crowds with phrases like "Direct your goods inward" and "Retreat into yourself". At the beginning of Letter 8, Seneca reports Lucilius' reaction to Letter 7, asking if Seneca's approach is inconsistent with the Stoic teaching to live an active life. Seneca responds:
          "Well, do you think this is inaction that I am urging upon you? Here is the reason that I have hidden myself away and closed the doors: to benefit the greater number. Not one of my days is spent in leisure, and I claim a part of the nights for study. I have no time for sleep, until it overcomes me; my eyes are exhausted and drooping with late hours, but I keep them to the task. I have withdrawn not only from society but from business, and especially from my own business. The work that I am doing is for posterity: it is they who can benefit from what I write. I am committing to the page some helpful admonitions, like recipes for useful salves. I have found these effective on my own sores, which, even if not completely healed, have ceased to spread. The right path, which I myself discovered late in life when weary from wandering, I now point out to others."
     I have no illusions about writing for posterity; however, on a personal level, I do believe that I have recently turned onto a better path. For much of my 29-year career, I seemed to alternate between "individual contributor" jobs and "manager" positions. The management jobs usually paid more, but I found them to be more stressful and less interesting. My current role as a contract attorney is in the individual contributor mode, and -- among other advantages -- I find that I have the mental energy to continue blogging (albeit mostly on the weekends).
     Speaking of blogging (and of discovering the right path) Real Delia is about finding oneself in adulthood, and I highly recommend it. Full disclosure, Delia Lloyd is my cousin, but don't hold that against her!
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     Seneca, Letters on Ethics to Lucilius, Translated with an Introduction and Commentary by Margaret Graver and A.A. Long (University of Chicago Press, Chicago and London, 2015), Letter 8, 1-3, pages 37-38; see also Letter 7, 8, page 36.